Day 62-Cold Souls

I like to watch movies. This fact drives my wife crazy because I will declare that I am going to watch three or four movies. I can't just watch one. Movies are like watching books for me. I really enjoy the images and the subtle messages etc within the movies.

In fact our first date was a movie. Sling Blade of all things. Who goes to see Sling Blade on a romantic first date? And who laughs at the opening scene when the main character confesses that he is in jail for killing his little brother? Me.

Billy Bob Thorton's character talks just like a customer I used to call on, in central Missouri. For example...."Hi Billy Bob how are you?...long uncomfortable pause......"F i n e.".......again long uncomfortable pause......so then I ask "What did you do last weekend, Billy Bob(not my customers real name)?....yup..another long unsettling pause....response..."I.......w e n t......to.......my....ma's...huhmmm"...... These exchanges with my customer were more painful than removing your own wisdom teeth with a vis-grips without Novocaine.

So when I heard Billy Bob Thornton, I could not help myself. You can't imagine the look Suzanne gave me. Even in the dark. Anyway, the enough with the funny digression.

On to my point. There is a movie, remember I love movies, out at Blockbuster called Cold Souls, staring Paul Giamatti who plays himself. He is so depressed, that he has his soul removed and placed in storage. His soul happens to be, of all things, a chick pea. And then someone steals it from storage and sells it on the black market where some Russians buy it.

And so, of course Paul goes through a journey to get is soul back. But when the time of reunification finally comes, his soul rejects him. Only when the woman helping him tells him that he must put special glasses so that he can see his soul does it come back to him. I found the movie to be a funny dark comedy. If you like this kind of thing, you might consider renting it. It reminded me of a Woody Allen film.

By the way I mention this because I think I now have those glasses on and I am holding myself accountable for who I am. I am helping that fat depressed little boy who weighed about 70 lbs when his life started to come undone. But first I told him that I love him (to heal him) and that it is ok and "you have to get up now and change your life." It is time to accept your weaknesses and do something to change them--turn them into something strong."

Our bellybuttons are both a scar and a birthmark. Our bellybuttons are the symbol of our chance at life, the opportunity to make our own way. And when are cut away from our mothers that is the moment the journey begins. It is the first lesson. Out of pain comes growth. Even the planet tells us this. In the winter, when life is largely dormant, we prune and in the spring, the plants and flowers flourish.